My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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