Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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