I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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