I showed him my bush... on skype.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
