My Higher Power is John Stamos
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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