Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
