the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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