Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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