No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
