yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
