I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
someone owes me an orgasm
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
