it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
