My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
