I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
