he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
