Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
