Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
