doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
