He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
