it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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