you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
