he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
