You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He uses pillows to masturbate.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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