Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize