my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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