i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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