I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Acid is not a monday night drug
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
