break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
