words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize