Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
