did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
