Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
