Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
