Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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