it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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