We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You're like the curious george of whores
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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