I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
