forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize