is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
