I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
