totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
