bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
