We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
