so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
