I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
