I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
