I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
