i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
