In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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