But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How does one acquire holy water?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize