Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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