She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize