Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
