they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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