and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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