I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize