I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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