i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
