Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
