I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
