Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
